Friday, September 6, 2013

LANA DEL FLOP AKA LANA DEL SLAY AKA LANA DEL US TOP TEN QUEEN IS COMING FOR THAT #1!


She ain't no flop no more! The now Queen of US Top 40 radio and soon to be Queen of this mother fucking world has finally entered my body and soul. It only took me five beers and a really shitty mood to appreciate the wonders of this talented, amazing, natural beauty.

I sound like a delusional stan on purpose by the way. Even if my sentences come off as mocking, I ironically say them but actually mean them. I was drunk as fuck one night and I was looking at some of her performances because I was feeling like hating on someone and then I saw this video of her meeting these Australian fans. She is soooooooo down to earth, her natural lips may never come down to her face again but her attitude, omg she's amazing. She was cute, and thankful and just genuine. Put her in a sheesh kabob and feed me her for dinner. I would eat that up in a second.

"Summertime Sadness" is really why we're here though. The iconic, sleeper hit, has reached a new high in the US at a cute #9 on the Hot 100. You know that's like 91 more stops than your fave flop. Just saying, I'm keeping score. 

The remix aka "Versus" single is slaying everything in its' path. So if I were Katy Flop and Lady Flop Flop I would watch my asses because Lana del Flawless is coming for that #1.


I just want a beer, a cigarette and a Jawbone speaker right now. 


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